Behold! One of the Greatest Books to have ever been released by mankind! The world is about to bend at its knees under the sheer awesomeness of this written masterpiece. Strong men will cry like little babies, women will shriek with joy and children will literally pee in their panties at this latest installment by the CEO and Founder of Enlightenment City Sufian Chaudhary: 7 Habits of Highly Spiritual People!!
Even the title suggests an aura of literary genius! It has been proven by very smart marketers that if you throw a figure in front of your title, people are more likely to click on it! Nobody has any idea how close the author came to naming this article “101 Ways to become an Enlightened Master!” Of which the author personally mastered every single one of them to copiously keep up with the current blogging trends. Which fired off another whopper “16 Ways to try and figure out this month’s Spiritual Hype!” Complete with audio CD and DVD instruction manual on how to create your own fads so you will never miss the latest craze ever again!
7 Habits of Highly Spiritual People
Without further adieu, let me introduce the book that literally has the Power of Thought pumping through its veins. It is the muscle man that all spiritual people dream of one day meeting. If you didn’t think twice, you might call it the Lance Armstrong of self-help books, except possibly with a side-note of spirituality shoved in the back there.
Habit 1: Spiritual People argue a lot
To kick things off, we have the most common misconception about spiritual people riding on our side; that we are somehow pleasant, easy-going, well-mannered people who truly have the Earth at heart. I don’t know how much more crap I could have possibly spun into that sentence, but for anybody who has ever visited a spiritual website/forum/discussion/LinkedIn page, then you would have probably noticed something: Nobody ever seems to just get along!
It seems that you’re not considered spiritual unless you can argue till your blue in the face! Take it from the best of them. There hasn’t been a single spiritual forum I have ever seen (mind you I have been on quite a few) where somebody somewhere didn’t take issue with just about everything somebody else had to say. Sometimes I really just sit here and think to myself that if some random outsider was to just walk in on the conversation, he/she/victim would just undeniably get caught in the cross-fire and inevitably end up more confused and isolated on the topic than ever before. Sometimes it got so bad that we had to remain as diplomatic as possible when writing posts.
Me: “Hi John, to answer you question, God/Source/Creator/Unconditional Love/Nothingness/Yahweh/Allah/Metatron/The Holy of Holies, did not physically incarnate down to pass on messages. The Archangels were sent down to inspire man to start religions so people could discover the real power within themselves, rather than remaining victimized and lost within the sea of the unrealized”.
Spiritual Person 1: “No God/Source/Creator/Unconditional Love/Nothingness/Yahweh/Allah/Metatron/The Holy of Holies, incarnated down himself to write the Bible because that’s what it sais.”
Me: “God/Source/Creator/Unconditional Love/Nothingness/Yahweh/Allah/Metatron/The Holy of Holies, doesn’t incarnate in His own Creation. That would defeat the purpose of setting it up in the first place.”
Spiritual Person 1: “Look I didn’t come here to argue. However, you are completely wrong and I am completely right. I don’t know the answers, I never will, it’s impossible to know the mind of God, but what I do know is that everybody here should just listen to what I have to say like Gospel itself.”
Me: “That’s it. This forum is going to burn in hell and I’m never incarnating here EVER AGAIN!!!”
Habit 2: Spiritual People are pro-environment yogi vegetarians.
Most seem to believe that the definition of spirituality is to want to save the planet, do yoga every day and dislike eating meat. Though it’s pretty stock standard, most of it really doesn’t help the spirituality of the individual all that much.
Gaia has been around a very long period of time. I am not just talking about since the creation of Earth, I am talking about her full Universal Cycle moving her consciousness up out of the 1st Dimension, through all of her lives, and well into Unconditional Love where she decided to ascend into her 7th Dimensional body of a planet we now call home. To seriously sit here and think about the repercussions of a society that has only been around for the last 5 thousand years on a planet that has existed for billions more. We are on a one way trip to Hell!
I have seen what significantly advanced societies look and feel like. When humanity starts cycling free renewable energy, with Love and empowering realizations as its main purpose in Life, harnessing the power of crystal spaceships to literally fly through the fabric of time, and reflect the warmth of God like the Suns of a magnificent multiverse– we just might create Heaven on Earth after all.
Yoga is one of my favorite topics. I actually love people who do yoga. Some of the more hardcore yogis eventually venture into the Chakras and various breathing techniques… however this is where it kind of stops. We all love the great bodies, however very few inevitably wander off into deeper teachings that delve into the spiritual world more thoroughly. If I was to sit down with a yogi and hash out the fine details of the spiritual world, they often get lost just as soon as I turn the “ethereal Beings corner” let alone the Collective Creator Consciousness (“say what??”).
Finally the most controversial topic I have ever come across. Vegetarianism: To Be or Not To Be. That is the Question. We as spiritual beings are mirroring our environment and we need high vibrational foods to reflect our ascending bodies. What if I told you that Archangels “feed” off our prayers via exceptional high vibrational Love. Beyond never being able to pray ever again, higher dimensional existences naturally utilize lower vibratory beings in a perfectly sustainable model. I am against animal cruelty and I severely dislike many bad farming practices– however to single this out to significantly influence somebody to become vegetarian is almost like telling a crocodile not to drown its food because it’s inhumane to water-board the antelope before it eats it.
As human beings it is impossible for us to start photosynthesizing and live completely independently of nutrition as much as we want to. Cutting down a tree to plant a farm is like killing living things to promote peace. We are free-radical passive consumer beings and we need to stop feeling guilty for ourselves if we ‘need’ a hamburger.
Habit 3: Spiritual People are Magnificently Graceful Beings
So the current social norm is for us to prance around in long flowing silk robes with our arms up in the air as if to praise the Lord for our very existence itself. I will assure you that if you ever met somebody with a soothing and very calming voice, beautiful elongated words, and even a slight flourish of superior energy play due to their hand-crafted upbringing; you are talking to one cunning individual.
Would you like to know how spiritual people talk and act in public? Exactly like you and me. It’s a very similar analogy with people who are born in family’s of exuberance and incredible wealth– they get over it as they get older. They become desensitized to the fact that have it. They eventually just try to act normal because that way they don’t alienate themselves. Spiritual people don’t need to prove themselves to anybody. Spirituality is a personal choice (it is also the entire reason why we are even here, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves). To try to create an atmosphere of consistent social proof is to just deliberately broadcast your greatest psychological fears. Spiritual people face the same problems regular people face. The only difference is that spiritual people are slightly better equipped to handle their issues if they balance their Chakras and learn how to breathe properly.
Habit 4: Spiritual People are hardcore Psychics
The next time somebody asks me whether I intuitively think Alex from work might have a crush on them, or whether or not I could heal them in time for karate class on Friday, I’m going to stick my foot up their ass so hard and so fast that it will leave Archangel Michael for broke with the sheer lightning speed of God I will be achieving. The Earth will literally shift over in its orbit around the Sun from the force of God bursting out of the fabric of time.
Habit 5: Spiritual People are all part of some Secret Magical Society
I like this one. Actually I quite adore the fact that we are able to commune with Beings most can’t see unless they undergo extensive energy work with their Chakras and dissolve their filtration system. I’m in Love with the fact that I can enter worlds most don’t even know exist. And the next time I’m with Archangel Uriel walking through the powerful manifestations on the outer edge of the Universe, I will be thinking of Harry Potter and Hogwarts School of Wizardry! … I mean– I will be thinking of you!
Habit 6: Spiritual People don’t like it when other Spiritual People are better than them
I would like to introduce to you the spiritual tall poppy syndrome.
“Tall poppy syndrome (TPS) is a pejorative term primarily used in the UK, Canada, New Zealand and other Anglosphere nations to describe a social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticised because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers.”
They forgot to mention Australia. Seriously they put in New Zealand and forgot to mention Australia? Oh wait… Wikipedia dedicated an entire section just to try and cover Australia’s usage of the term. I love my country!
So spiritual tall poppy syndrome (STPS or STEPS as in people are going to be walking all over you) is exactly the same as tall poppy syndrome, except we are now resenting, attacking, cutting down, and criticizing spiritual people for their unique gifts instead of just a broad generalization of people having “talents and achievements”. I have seen this happen time and time again. It can often be observed from the particularly spiritually adventurous person’s own community or belief network more so than any other. However, then again, The Crusades did happen for a reason. The last time I saw STPS in action, a group of Angel Psychics ganged up on a pretty intuitive Shaman for suggesting Doreen Virtue wasn’t all she was cracked up to be. I was surprised I didn’t see them pull out switch-blades and start twirling them around to really get the party started. We live in a cut-throat world. A given reality here on Earth; especially confusing considering how hard it is to wake these people up in the first place.
So the sloth represents the human race. The woman filming represents our Soul aka Universal Witness. The road represents Earth– the road that we must cross to get to the other side. And the man carrying the sloth represents God– who all spiritual people believe will one day just appear before them to carry them into the beautiful green trees– aka Unconditional Love.
Join me next week for my new book “16 Ways You Shouldn’t Meditate!”
Excerpt from my new award winning book:
As a highly distinguished member of the Spiritual Understanding Consciously Knowing Society (SUCKS) I feel it my duty to represent the spiritual community by suggesting multiple ways that will most definitely not get you anywhere with meditation even if you tried. Such information is normally quite highly regarded within SUCKS. Remember “If it SUCKS, it’s worth knowing!”
P.S. If you were expecting a 7th Habit then you got jibbed..